Compliments

Imagine someone you know, even just a little, coming up to you, smiling, and saying: "You look great today!" How do you react? Do you say thanks? Do you smile? Or do you say something like: 'Thank you... but my hair is such a mess today.' When someone compliments you on your new shirt, do you say 'I really like it too, thank you!' or do you say 'Oh, it was on sale' or 'I've had it for ages.

You have a nice smile.

I think my teeth are crooked.

Love the shoes.

They were really cheap. or: they're too small.

I've noticed that a lot, sadly also about myself. Why is taking compliments so difficult sometimes? Someone likes something about me, enough to say so. Then why do I feel the need to make that something seem unimportant or to make it less of a good thing?

I'm gonna admit that I had some inspiration for this post, even if the actual conversation I had about it was over a year ago, if not longer. My aunt said something about how a lot of people can't take compliments, and how she thinks that's kinda sad. I've been trying to change that about myself ever since.

At first it seemed like I came across as arrogant, when I said that I loved the shirt as well, or that I had braces for several years, so I was glad my smile was worth it. Maybe it felt arrogant to me, but I don't think it actually was. You are allowed to love who you are, and you should always love what you wear. About a year after the conversation that initially sparked my motivation to change even such a tiny bit of my personality, I can proudly say that this is how I react to compliments now:

I held the door open for an elderly neighbour, when she suddenly, out of the blue, said:
'You look great in green!" I was wearing my new, very green winter jacket and was kind of unsure if it was too bright and too green. But instead of doubting myself and doubting the honesty and the truth of the compliment, I said: 'Thank you, I love it as well! And you look great in blue!'

This whole blogpost may seem to be about something so minuscule and unimportant, but it has had such a weirdly big impact on my life. Saying thank you to compliments, instead of doubting them, was one of the first big steps to loving myself. And that, in my book, is so wort the risk of sounding arrogant.

So the next time you get a compliment, try believing it. Trust the person that this shirt looks awesome. Trust him/her that you look great today. Because you probably do.